Are there still women who lie about their virginity in relationships in this present day? Let’s find out in this piece.
For a long time, it has been a thing for women to be rated marry-able majorly by the presence of an hymen.
In ancient days, virginity was so important that whole communities were said to have stood outside a new couple’s hut on their wedding night while they went in to consummate the marriage.
The groom would triumphantly hold up a white sheet stained with the evidence of his bride’s ‘completeness’ and the whole community would erupt in gladness at the sight. A lack of it meant the bride was ‘incomplete’ and it was both a shame on her and her family.
It didn’t particularly matter if the woman was of good character, has an industrious nature or anything of the sort. If she wasn’t a virgin, she just was no good, plain and simple.
Similar traditions existed in other parts of Africa and even in Asia where as recent as year 2010, a report in China explains how hymen restoration procedures were being performed on young women in their 20’s who wanted to get married. The report said they had to have it intact as it was one condition that men were particular about.
Very obviously, society and religion’s long-standing emphasis on the chastity and abstinence of women from sex before marriage is one reason why virginity seems to remain such a big deal till date.
Even Christianity and Islam preaches sexual purity.
But the most relatable reason why women would lie about virginity is the importance they think men attach to it.
The fact that there are still men who seek virgins has made many young women to resort to lying about their virginity in a bid to maintain that idea of being ‘pure’ and ‘untouched’ because they also want to get married.
Some men fear that non-virgins have body-counts that can’t be traced, unlike virgins, whose absence of body count is obvious and ascertainable.
This is actually a cycle of absurdity. First, because virginity can be lost through other ways apart from sex, eg: strenuous sporting activities.
So, being a non-virgin is not particularly a confirmation that she’s loose, just as virginity is not a sign of being chaste and modest.
Most importantly, men really need to realise that there are other things to seek in a relationship than the presence of a hymen.
Having said that, women also need to realise that lying to a man about anything particularly their virginity is wrong, especially if it’s something fundamental to the existence of that relationship.
If you lie about your virginity to keep him, you have started the relationship on a wrong note, and while a surgical restoration might fix you a new hymen, it won’t do anything for the guilt you’ll feel for being dishonest.
Neither will it fix the disappointment and other reactions he’ll have if he ever finds out that you tied him down with “fake virginity”.
Rather than lie about your virginity, say yes to that man whose respect for women is not limited to the presence or absence of a hymen.
Get one of those men and build happiness with him.